Sleepy time after SexyTime

In bed with an Ex, It was Sleepy time after Sexytime

Her : Which way are you facing

Me : Eh?

Her : Can you face this way I can’t see you

Me : You can’t see me anyway its pitch black

Her : I know but I like to think of you looking at me

Me : I won’t be looking at you though, I’ll be asleep

Her : Until you fall asleep

Me : Ok

Her : Have you got your eyes closed?

Me : Yes, I’m trying to sleep

Her: For Fucks sake, can’t you just do something nice for once?

This went on for a while and resulted in me leaving for a local pub at about 2am in the morning.

After several miss calls, texts & pints. Emotions got the better of me. I shed a tear.

A kid who sat beside me looked at me & said.

You’re 25 and you did the “boo-hoo-hoo” rubbing eyes routine in the pub? Brilliant

Can I be like you when I grow up?

Psstt.. Couldn’t have had a worst day, I thought to myself.

Are You Keeping Your Karma In Check?

Having reinvented to being a ‘bigger & better’ bastard, JE ns    ThEo r y, a truly well established cunt has once again failed to keep his Karma in check.

These are (I hope) the cruellest words he will ever write.

A mate of mine once told me his Mum had had 6 miscarriages; I asked which one he was.

He’s still my best mate but I’ll never forgive myself.

My best friend met a girl on a night out.

The following morning I said ‘Good night. Let’s see if we can get you someone better than that fat pig in future’.

They are now married.

It has never been mentioned again.

Two identical twins went to my school and I told one loudly that she must have been gutted to have such an ugly sister.

Johnny Depp is flaming awesome

My misses wants him.

And if I caught them sleeping together.

I’d ask for his autograph.

Mate [Who’s a first-class prick. He wouldn't even make a good taxi driver ] once asked. If I’m cool with him. For, dating my former girlfriend.

Me : No Problemo.  It’s even safe to kiss her due to her cruel refusal to suck my cock.

P.S. Loves playing with my toy SBS Bus. When ever, I’m piss drunk.  Which has been amended so that it goes to Geylang Lorong 18 via “Rejection Street, Disappointment Avenue, Back-stabbing Central & Shattered Dreams Parkway.” Bus fare cost only a few pints of booze.